Several Hours

How hard is it to ignore someone you want?
How hard is it to pretend day by day you don’t need her?
All I do is keep distance, avoid you, ignore you, take me out of your life, but I all wanna do is call you, text you, say goodbye to everyone here and go hug you until you can’t breathe.
I always tell myself you have your own life now and I must forget you so I can move on. I really try, I try so hard, I’ve been with other girls, I’ve been in drunken-nights-to-forget-you almost every weekend. I’ve told myself one day (seriously. judge me.) to think that you don’t exist, that it was just a dream, but how can I believe myself in reality if you show up every fucking night in my real dreams?
It’s a sub-conscious trick that keeps reminding me that you’re there, always on my mind, always on my heart, no matter who I’m kissing, no matter who I’m fucking.
How hard is it to ignore someone you want?
It’s as hard as being ignored by someone you want.


                                   i want you, entire