Trying to escape from reality I cheat myself. I’ve always said that I’d never cheat anyone, but that’s what I keep doing in years.
I’m getting tired of this rollercoaster of emotions that I feel everyday. I’m tired of standing behind the rain without a reason, start crying alone on the bus, crying on my own in my bed, while I take a shower, crying everywhere. I fake happiness because I can’t deal with my sadness. I can’t deal with me.
I wish I knew what’s going on but I can’t explain. All I feel is this emptiness. I am empty. I am really no one.
Somebody take off this desperate scream of my sick soul, make it stop, I’m done. Why do I feel I’m falling? As I breathe the smoke that ruins my body I kill a piece of myself day after day. I’m counting.
Come on and teach my how to live. Teach me how to do everything right. I’ll always deny that I know who is the one. A boundary I’ll never cross.
I’ve always told myself that all I need is love and then all my problems would be solved. But how can I risk so much for something so unreachable? There’s no love that heals me up.
I need to be punched. I need to feel more pain. Go deep into this sorrow. So maybe one day I can rebirth. I wanna go deep this time.