where we belong

Like a rebirth of my heart, my head now can understand everything I'm going through. While I was listening to Amsterdam from Anberlin last night, all of a sudden my world is clear.

It's not your fault that this is doesn't working and it's not my fault neither. Our lives are just not in time for this now.

All my worries, all my pain is going away 'cause now I realize you want me as I am. Or not, maybe I'm wrong, but I prefer to believe in what I'm thinking since we don't talk like we did before.

The safe distance we're keeping from each other is nothing but trying to avoid more pain in our hearts. Why such good affection through words if I am here and you are there? It just hurts more than missing you. There's no reason to say I almost love you or you like me and you miss me if we can't feel the skin of the other. You should live closer. We should live closer but there is no much thing to do right now. It turns that long-distance relationships only works if you're rich enough to take a flight every weekend, and unfortunately that's not our case.

I'm sorry if I bothered you with some stupid questioning, I was such a fool. I was such a spoiled kid wanting to make you say you want me when this is not even necessary. I normally think with my heart but I'm trying to use my brain now.

I'm not saying you should forget me, oh God I really hope you don't, I'm saying that I understand your coldness.

My feelings are the same. I want you as I've never wanted someone before, you can't even imagine how often you cross my mind. Like I said when you're with me, you are the best thing that happened to me this year. I don't know if I'm naive but you've said forever once, and you said we should escape to far away from there. I wish you don't fail with your promises.

Here's everything I have to say, it's not our time yet. I'm sure we can make it maybe next month, maybe next year, maybe in another life, but I'm so fucking sure we can make it. You know my plans include be near you soon, I'm trying to believe that next year i'm moving to the south to start a new life (but not because of you, I just don't see myself here anymore), being closer to you is just the best addition. Someday I'll wake up and mess your hair and you'll be right next to me, 'cause there's where we belong my baby. I'll let you know that you're no good for no-one-else but me love haha, oh they don't see you like I do.

From now I just gotta see you one more time and I'm sure we will meet again soon. If you read this, tell me if I'm wrong. I hope I am not.

"do you remember what fearless felt like?"